There`s only one way to start this week`s blog!
Click here to see!
Yes, the waiting is finally over and I`m as giddy as a Pool Attendant at a Playboy Party!! If any week is an acceptable one for big kids to get excited about fictional characters from far off lands flashing through space at the speed of light with a host of magical talents and animal sidekicks then it is the week before Christmas.
But of course I`m not talking about Santa on this occasion! No, the 10 year wait is finally over and Star Wars Saga continues! It probably comes as no surprise to you all but I`m a huge Star Wars fan so I`m not ashamed to say that I`m probably looking forward to the release of the new film more than Christmas!
Adventures in space was definitely a theme this week, and not just for the fantasy of the big screen either. Britain now has its first official Astronaut! And his name is Bazz Litebeer! No, it`s actually Tim Peake and I for one think that if his story make it to Hollywood then they surely they have to get Kyle MacLachlan to play the lead character in the Tim Peakes Movie!?
I heard that he was a bit offended when he was introduced to his colleagues before their spaceflight as he thought his footballing allegiance was being called into question! Standing there proudly in his Union Jack embroidered spacesuit, he mistook the introduction by the Irish Launch Commander of "Yuri, Tim too" to mean something else!
I just hope the same kind of mishearing doesn`t happen on the part of David Cameron when he hears that the International Space Station is commonly referred to as the ISS Headquarters and he subsequently tries to bomb it!
I got wind of his plan to destroy it and fortunately it sounds a bit far-fetched!
"The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station.", although it sounds impossible David Cameron believes it will work because "It's not impossible. I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-sixteen back home. They're not much bigger than two meters." (The Star Wars geeks out there will get it!)
Moving swiftly along, and just in case you have literally been on another planet you wont have failed to notice that Christmas is just around the corner. Noddy Holder is rolled out again like Obi-Wan Kenobi as all the annoying Christmas Tunes from yesteryear are piped in our lugholes at every opportunity to remind us that "IIIIIITTTTTT`SSSSSSS CHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSTTTTTMMMMMAAAASSSSSSS!!" - Yes, we know Noddy!!!
That song was Christmas Number 1 in 1973!! 42 piggin years we`ve had to endure it since!! I wonder if the same will be said of this years Christmas Number 1 song in 42 years though?
If `Tradition` is anything to go by it will most likely be the countries new X Factor Winner - Louisa Johnson. I have to admit (as you`ve probably noticed by my lack of inclusion in the weekly blogs) but I haven`t watched much/any of this year`s series but I did have a peak at the final as I`m always curious to see (1) who made it, and (2) which `famous` popstars they get to duet with the acts in the final. And to be fair if the whole final was just to be based on that part alone then you could see there was only going to be one winner! Rod Stewart got rolled out Noddy Holder-style (probably only because Noddy was already booked for Christmas) to perform with Che Chesterman. The next performers I couldn`t quite work out who was who to begin with. Had Craig David enter X factor to try and re-launch his failed career and was dueting with Chaka Demus & Pliers? Or was Craig David the `Professional`, and if so who were the other two? It turns out they were called Reggie & Bollie! Only by name could they claim to be anything associated with R`n`B! They did in fact go on to finish second which has proven in the past to be a good spring board to musical success, however I fear the only way for this pair to jumpstart their pop careers is if they changed their name to R`a`C!
The hands down winner and no doubt the Christmas Number 1 artist was Louisa Johnson who got to duet with her mentor on the show Rita Ora - which I think sounds like a great name for a character or planet in Star Wars!
For me though there is still only 1 Christmas Song,
The 12 Days of Christmas! I mean who doesn`t like
to see "Alan Partridge with a Page Three - Ah-Ha!"
And for those of you still looking for inspiration or
ideas for presents for the golfers in your family then
here is my take on the famous song that might help.
On the last few days before Christmas my Golf Pro gave (ahem, in exchange for payment!!) to me:
12 Balls Bouncing
11 Perfect Putters
10 Lofts For Lifting (Wedges)
9 GPS To Stop You Guessing
8 Hats & Mittens
7 Tops To Swing In
6 Fleece or Layering
5 NEW SWINGS (Lesson Voucher)
4 Trolley Bags
3 Sharpie Pens
2 Leather Gloves
And a Hybrid for the Par 3!
Remember we are open every day until 4pm including Christmas Eve and have a fabulous choice of Gifts & Gift Vouchers whether it be a small stocking filler or something substantial.
"Wood You Believe It"
TaylorMade R15 Drivers ONLY £229 & Callaway XR Drivers ONLY £219
"Saving For A Rainy Day!"
ALL Galvin Green Jackets - ONLY £219! Or a Full Suit For ONLY £360!
"I Must Be Off My Trolley!"
Motocaddy M1 Lead Acid Trolley + FREE Lite Series Cart Bag* - All For ONLY £399! (*Or Upgrade to the Pro Series Cart Bag for Only £475)
"Get The Shirt Off My Rack!"
Galvin Green & UnderArmour Clothing - 20% OFF!
"Best Foot Forward"
All Shoes Reduced! - Up To £40 Off.
"Save Pounds & Shots!"
Golfbuddy GPS Wristbands - NOW ONLY £159! (Many Other GPS Reduced)
"A New Life For Bag!"
All Golf Bags Reduced - 25% OFF!
"Bonus Balls!"
Srixon Z Star - 2 Dozen For ONLY £50!
Srixon Ladys Soft Feel - 2 Dozen For ONLY £25!
Or if it`s something smaller we have some great gift ideas, stocking fillers AND Filled Stockings!
Golfers Stockings Deluxe:
Bumpa Bag of Wooden Tees
FJ Socks
4 Srixon SoftFeel Balls
Tin Cup Ball Personaliser & Sharpie
Handwarmers
Plus Stocking
ALL FOR ONLY £20! (RRP £44)
Basic:
Bumpa Bag of Wooden Tees
2 Srixon SoftFeel Balls
Masters Ball Personaliser & Pen
Handwarmers
Plus Stocking
ALL FOR ONLY £10! (RRP £16)
Winter Hats, Snoods, Gloves & Mitts -
From ONLY £10!
Shoe Bags, Holdalls & Umbrellas -
From ONLY £15!
Portlethen Gifts - Scorecard Holders, Umbrellas, Shoebags, Caps & Holdalls - From ONLY £12!
Glenmuir Box Sets - Ladies & Gents Hat & Scarf or Sock Sets - From ONLY £13
Or for the Golfer who has EVERYTHING but moans too much that they can`t use ANYTHING - How about a Lesson or Development Package? These can all be made into a Gift Voucher with a Personal Message like below, or why not just get them a Professional Shop Gift Voucher to whatever value you like?
Tariffs:
Consultation: "Performance Analysis & Overview" (2 Hour Session) - £75
This session contains a detailed assessment of your game and your goals! Important performance data is recorded using Flightscope which alongside a comprehensive Skills Test and questionnaire allow a "Plan For Progress" to be created specifically for your game. *Anyone who takes this assessment automatically qualifies for a 10% Reduction on all future Lessons & Packages that season.
Playing Lesson: "Take It To The Course" (2 Hour Session) - £75*
This On Course Session focuses predominantly on your ability to manage your game and the course, mental approach, visualisation, routine, green reading, rules, etiquette and shot execution. Whilst how to play certain types of shots will be covered technique and swing changes will kept for on the Practice Range.
Scoring Zone: "The Ultimate Short game Session" (2 Hour Session) - £75*
The ideal way to make significant and lasting improvements to the one area of the game that guarantees lower scores! This session contains a detailed assessment of your Short game "Strengths & Weaknesses", a skills test, Computerized Putter & Stroke Analysis, Green Reading & Pace Control as well as an overview of Pitching & Bunker technique, Chipping method and shot choices.
Complete Game Package: "Top To Toe Improvement" (3x 45 Minute Session) - £105*
This Package focuses on every aspect of your game where you will be given analysis and advice on how to improve your Tee To Green Game (Session 1 - Long Game), your Approach Play (Session 2 - Short game) and your Putting Prowess (Session 3 - Putting)
Development Plan Package: "The Game Changer" (4x 45 Minute Session) - £140*
This Package is the ideal way to make simple, effective and long lasting improvements to your game. Whether it is focusing on one particular aspect or gaining knowledge and adding improvement to every department of your golf game.
Individual Lesson Prices
30 Minute Lesson - £30*
45 Minute Lesson - £35*
60 Minute Lesson - £40*
Junior Tuition
30 Minute Lesson - £20
3 Lesson Package - £45
In terms of Opening Times during the Festive Period we will very much be the same as the Golf Club
25th Dec - CLOSED
26th Dec - CLOSED
27th Dec to 31st Dec - 8.30 until 3pm
1st Jan - CLOSED
2nd Jan - CLOSED
3rd Jan to 7th - 8.30 until 3pm
Over the Festive Period the Course will be available to play EVERYDAY if the conditions allow it. So if you really want some fresh air and golf on Christmas, Boxing or New Year's Day then simply check the Course Status on the website. If the Course is Open those days it will very much be using Winter Greens and play from the side of Fairways.
But the Course Status brings me to a worthwhile reminder. The Website Status and Phone Line telling you whether the Course is OPEN or CLOSED at this time of year can only be updated once a Course Inspection has taken place. Now while Neil and his Staff are excellent at their jobs none of them are skilled in the Jedi Arts so therefore cannot make an assessment before it gets daylight! (Although I did hear Neil say to a Member who wasn`t happy that Holes 2 & 3 were closed last winter "LOOK! Just use the fourth!")
At this time of the year if you check the Website or call the phone line at 8am (or before or slightly after) it is still very much on The Dark Side so the `Status` will still say what it was the previous day. As soon as the daylight allows a worthwhile course inspection the Greenstaff update the status immediately to reflect that days playing conditions.
The best indicator of when the Status will be updated is to look at the `Sunrise/1st Tee Time` on the BRS Booking Sheet. If you are booked to play in any of the early Tee Times the only way of knowing if the course is Open or Closed is to arrive at the Club I`m afraid.
And if you are wondering how dark it is when the Greenstaff start their inspections here is the type of get-up that some of the guys use!!
One final piece of Course information to bring you. Following more extremely wet weather and growth/recovery temperatures now too low the course has come to the unfortunate stage where it can no longer sustain play from the fairways!
PLEASE NOTE: From Monday 21st December the following Winter Regulation will be in place. You MUST Lift your ball from the Fairway into the 1st cut
of Semi Rough so that both your Ball AND Stance or clear of the Fairway. White Lines will be marked on the Fairways to define the areas where play from the Fairways ARE allowed.
Course Conditions
o The Fairways are OUT of PLAY (Lift to the nearest Side*)
o Place In Semi-Rough (Including Stance)
o White Lines Signify where play from Fairways is allowed.
*Left 1/3 of Fairway = Lift Left
Right 1/3 of Fairway = Lift Right
Middle 1/3 of Fairway = Players Choice
A Long Time Ago, In A Time Far, Far Away……..
Don`t worry I`m not starting another Star Wars ramble but it does seem like a while since I was able to bring you any Competition News! Last Saturday was only the 2nd Pro Shop Sweep played this Winter, and whilst it was on Winter Greens the weather was quite pleasant and the Scoring very impressive.
Both Divisions were won by a whopping 47 Stableford Points! Bill Daniel (Div 1) and Brian Johnston (Div 2) leaving the rest in their wake! Alan Simpson & Bruce Fraser both made their way on to the Podium and into the money again.
PRO SHOP SWEEP Saturday 12th December `15
Division 1 (14 & BELOW)
1st: Bill Daniel = 47 Points, 2nd: Alan Simpson = 44 Points, 3rd: Drew Tremain = 40 Points ACB
Division 2 (15 & ABOVE)
1st: Brian Johnston = 47 Points, 2nd: Bruce Fraser = 42 Points, 3rd: Jeff Capstick = 39 Points
Photos -Alan Simpson, Brian Johnston, Bruce Fraser
Speaking of in the money, Peter Clark had a lucrative weekend. Despite only just missing out on the prizes in the Pro Shop Sweep he did pocket two Magic 2`s. However that wasn`t the most significant double he had. Peter is the first person I can remember who has won the Bonus Ball in back-to back weeks with the SAME NUMBER! His lucky 23 has now come in 2 weekends in a row and pocketed him £70!
Scott Garden also made some `Fast Cash` in my Stableford Sprint on the Sunday. He scored 22 Stableford Points over the 9 Holes helped by the 4 extra bonus points he managed for hitting the first 4 fairways in regulation, that was good enough to scoop £17 in shop credit!
Last week I mentioned about a ruling which effected my scorecard in competition. This week with the alliance taking a break over the Christmas period so I have no golf to report on, I thought I'd follow on the theme of golfing rules that could affect the golfer at Portlethen.
Rules can be used to your advantage (if you know the correct ruling) so this week I have chosen: Rule 25.2 Embedded Ball.
Embedded Ball is very much a RULE OF GOLF.
A ball embedded in its own pitch-mark in the ground in any closely mown area through the green may be lifted, cleaned and dropped, without penalty, as near as possible to the spot where it lay but not nearer the hole.
Now there are some words that you need to know the definition of, these are:
"Embedded" - when it is in its own pitchmark and part of the ball is below the level of the ground.
"Closely-mown area" means any area of the course cut to fairway height or less.
Now this is the important thing to remember, and something you have all been informed of by the Club, this Rule has been adopted as a LOCAL RULE by Portlethen and amended so that you (the player) get to take relief, without penalty, for a ball embedded anywhere THROUGH THE GREEN. This means anywhere on the Golf Course apart from bunkers, lateral & water hazards!
With all that is going on in the world right now I guess the best gift would be Peace, and while I can supply many things I can`t guarantee I have the answer to the worlds conflict. However I am able to bring a little Peace & Quiet to your lives for the next few weeks at least as my Weekly Blog will also be on its Festive Break when it will return in the New Year. By then I will have saved up all the Christmas Cracker Jokes I can get my hands on ready for another year of happy CringeMuch!
When 2016 rolls around it will be almost 1 whole year since I started my position here at Portlethen!............Doesn`t time fly when you`re working like a madman! So to mark the occasion instead of the usual January Sale I will be holding a "1st Birthday Bash" in its place! That will start on Friday 8th January (The date I began at Portlethen!) and run that whole Weekend with rock bottom clearance prices on many products. This will be a great time to put all that Christmas money or gift vouchers to good use.
Keep an eye on your Inbox for your Invite to my Pro Shop Party!
So I guess all that is left for me to do is from myself, Kamran & Aileen wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an even drunker New Year! "Hic…Hic…Hooray!!"
