INTERESTING FACT #763 - The Scottish tradition of not wearing underwear beneath a man`s kilt was stumbled upon as being the best way to not wet yourself with laughter when England get humiliated at the fitba...
`This week`s special: Battered Chicken-Livers 2-4-1 at Iceland.`
I guess the only things that don't save with Iceland are Joe Hart's gloves and Roy Hodgson's job.
Yes, in the same week as the UK decided to leave the EU citing 'all these foreigners' as the problem, the England football team left the Euro's proving that their 'Best League in the World.' is clearly only because of 'all those foreigners.' who ply their trade there..
The mighty nation of Iceland, with an entire population the size of Leicester, did a Leicester and knocked out England at the quarter final stage, thanks to a shot from Sigthorsson that was so weak it may as well have been hit by Steptoe & Son. Still it couldn't have been easy for Joe Hart to stop anything with all that shampoo on his gloves.
Despite having no Professional Teams in Iceland, and many of their international players playing in lower leagues around Europe, they were still 'Head & Shoulders' above all of the England Players. So much so that poor Roy Hodgson would've been better starting with a front 3 of Stacey Solomon, Peter Andre and Kerry Katona. At least those three came away from a match up with Iceland with something to show for it.
Which is more than can be said for Roy Hodgson who's just been voulevant`d in the prawn ring.
Maybe the sadder thing is that the Tartan Army only have English failure as anything to cheer about at another Major Finals. However they have given us lots of reasons to cheer. If them losing a last minute equaliser to Russia was going to be the only highlight then 'Soviet', but they were also nearly rinsed off Wales before being Slovakian poor in their final group game. But the fact they were rink rotten against the Icemen was certainly cause to crack open a cold one.
So now Hodgson has followed Cameron through the Emergency Brexit, England needs to fill both positions. Cameron stepped down when the people of Britain voted to leave the EU. But with the mass majority of the Leave voters of the older generation, I'm sure this vote was a mistake triggered by the hard of hearing and husbands who have grown used to not winning an argument. "Who shall we vote for dear.?", "Ocht, just Upick."
I`ve heard that the next ploy of Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage is to point all of Britain`s wind turbines towards the East Coast, turn them up to full speed in the hope that we can propel the UK as far away from mainland Europe as possible.
But in terms of appointing a new National Manager and PM, they won't be short of applicants for both posts because you just need a quick scroll through Facebook and Twitter to see there are hundreds of 'experts' that are obviously more than qualified to do either or both jobs..
Speaking of qualified, it was nice to see the Fool Monty came through Final Qualifying at Glasgow Gailes to book his place in The Open Championship at a Royal Troon next month. As many of you will know that is where Colin grew up playing golf as a Junior and is obviously where he honed his skill on the links....as well as his intolerance for the general public.
Another player who qualified for a spot at the Open Championship was Bill Hurley III. His 3 stroke victory at the Quicken Loans National on the PGA Tour secured him his place at the 3rd Major of the year. But Bill has declined the chance to play so he can attend the Wedding of his Sister. I hope the buffet is worth it then.
Over in Europe, Henrik Stenson warmed up nicely in his attempt to claim his first Major victory by claiming the BMW International Open in Germany. Another top player who is still searching for that elusive 1st Major is Sergio Garcia who continued his good play from the US Open with a Top 5 finish helped in no small measure by a sneaky Hole-In-One during the 2nd round.
His Ace was a little overshadowed by that of Richie Ramsay. The local 'loon' also had a Hole-In-One during that tournament, but his came at the 16th in the 1st Round which scooped him a top of the range BMW worth 170,000.......unfortunately that was Euro`s which means it`s now worth a lot less than this time last week.
There was someone else who had a lot less to show for his Hole-In-One, and that was Gary Esson. Gary, who has played golf for close on 30 years at a very high standard, scored his first ever Ace at the 5th on Wednesday during the Cockburn Cup at a hole that is aptly named, Cockburn`s Creek. The only other thing that was a first for Gary that night was he didn`t pay his Magic 2`s money which would`ve seen him scoop the Pot. Never mind, he still qualifies for a cracking Hugo Boss commemorative watch.
Club Captain, Ian Cruickshank must`ve felt like he`d won a watch too when everyone around him in his Division chose not to pay Sweep money either. This meant despite finishing 2nd with a 68 he still scooped 1st place money. Graham Smith topped the Division scoring with 67. 67 was also the lowest gross score of the day, posted by Clark Brechin who is clearly purring along nicely before the Club Championship Final this Sunday.
In Division 2 it was John McCall who lead the way with a 69. But the real fireworks came in Division 3 where Simon Scouller blitzed the competition with a tremendous 64.
Division 1
1st - Graham Smith - 73(6) - 67, 2nd = Ian Cruickshank - 78(10) - 68, 2nd = Mark McCusker - 77(9) - 68
Division 2
1st - John McCall - 84(15) - 69, 2nd = Grant Chalmers - 85(14) - 71, 2nd = James Steel - 84(13) - 71
Division 3
1st - Simon Scouller - 83(19) - 64, 2nd - Mark McDonald - 85(18) - 67, 3rd - Kevin McCreavey - 90(22) - 68
Wednesday was the only Club Competition this week as the scheduled Anniversary Fun Day on Saturday was a complete wash out. It was such a shame as a lot of prep had gone in to the build up to ensure the day was as much fun and as big a success as last year. But alas the weather didn`t deal us a fair hand. It was probably made even worse when the Sunday for the Gents Open was wall to wall blue skies.
The Club are looking to re-schedule the Anniversary day as it is an important Competition in the Calendar. Whilst not official, the likely date is going to be the 27th August which will run alongside the Wormald Trophy. This means we will play the Anniversary Day using the Texas Scramble format but with all the fun of the Anniversary Day thrown in.
This will be confirmed officially at some point in the near future.
Finding a suitable date in our already hectic fixture schedule is difficult. But one event already in the diary and on the horizon is the Bill Lamb Memorial Pro Am (Saturday, 20 August).
As you will all be aware this isn`t technically a Club event with the PGA essentially running it on behalf of the Lamb Family. But as we are hosting the event the Club have been allocated a small number of Team Slots to give Members the opportunity to play. All these slots have been filled, but if you were looking to play all hope is not lost.
I have sponsored a Team to represent the Professional Shop, and I am now offering you all a chance to play your way onto that Team where you will partner Kamran in the event.
This Saturday, July Medal & S/Play Champ Rd2, will be the Qualifier and the winner of Divisions 1, 2 & 3 will win their place on my Professional Shop Team. If any of the winners can`t make that date then the next best scorer in that Division will be offered the place, and so on.
All you have to do is be entered for this Saturdays July Medal……then play better than everyone else….SIMPLES.
Speaking of Pro`s events, I did something rash during the week and actually played a meaningful round of golf. But me being me I didn`t do it by any half measures. Instead I entered the Foremost Championship at The Oxfordshire Golf hotel & Spa which saw me make a 16 hour round trip and squeeze in a game of golf somewhere in the middle.
Needless to say having only completed 18 holes of golf 3 times since last September, my match sharpness was as low as my expectations. But despite scoring 8 over par I felt I acquitted myself pretty well and hit lots of really pleasing golf shots. It was definitely the `Scoring Shots` that I was pretty rusty with.
The Oxfordshire Course is a Championship layout that has hosted the Benson & Hedges Championship on the European Tour, and at nearly 7500 yards from the tips is an absolute beast. Fortunately those weren`t the Tees we had to play from (otherwise I might still be out there) but the Course we played still measured longer than Portlethen from the Black`s, made longer by the fact it was extremely soft due to heavy rain that weekend.
Some guys had arrived early on the Sunday to have a practice round but unfortunately my time constraints meant I would just have to play it blind.
Whilst that isn`t ideal preparation, it did force me to adopt an approach and a mind-set that ALL golfers should have, regardless of what course you are playing or how often you have played it.
Call it a cliché if you like, but not knowing the challenges of what lay ahead, the risks, the rewards, the tough holes, the easy ones, it meant I could only focus on the shot in hand, "ONE SHOT AT A TIME". I felt myself get into a really good routine which ultimately helped my rhythm. It allowed me to picture the shot I wanted to hit and wasn`t sabotaged by any negative pin pricks of "but don`t do this or don`t miss there"...
Last year 35 players lowered their playing handicap after having instruction from me. At roughly this time last year I also ran a promotion looking for my:
Game Improvement Champion
Those of you with a good memory will see that, with a 3rd place on Wednesday, Imran Sheikh is still winning Prize Money and lowering his handicap, and he was last year`s `Game Improvement Champion`
So here`s how the Promotion works.
From now until August I will be offering this exclusive Lesson Package.
"The Game Changer" - 4 x 45 Minute Lessons
Lesson 1 - Full Swing Analysis
Lesson 2 - Pitching & Chipping
Lesson 3 - Bunkers
Lesson 4 - Putting
ONLY £120 . (That`s A £20 Saving)**
**Top Up Lessons will be given at the equivalent reduced individual price.
Everyone who signs up for this Package will have their handicap progress recorded until the end of September (Lessons are recommended to be taken over the maximum of 2 week intervals, and are only Valid until the end of this period).
The Player who achieves the BIGGEST PERCENTAGE IMPROVEMENT on their Handicap will be crowned my "GAME IMPROVEMENT CHAMPION" and receive a Commemorative Sweater, Certificate and an All-Expenses Paid Away Golf Day with myself.
Note - If the Promotion attracts enough interest I will offer 2 Runners-Up Prizes to join the All-Expenses Paid Away Golf Day with myself.
That lasting improvement to your Golf Game is just one Click away. Book your first session up today.
The Ladies also only had a Mid week Competition to report this week. On Tuesday it was Stableford time with Kathleen Johnston the clear winner with a whopping 40 Points to the next best 36.
Division 1
1st - Kathleen Johnston - 40 Points, 2nd - Heather McCabe - 36Points, 3rd - Sarah Louise Ritchie - 35 Points
Division 2
1st - Diana Driver - 33 Points, 2nd - Elizabeth Groves - 29 Points, 3rd - Isabella Murray - 28 Points
The one thing I did bring back from my trip to the Oxfordshire was CONFIRMATION. Confirmation of how good our course looks and plays just now, and how hard Neil and his guys are working to produce the quality that we are experiencing right now, and that is probably taken for granted.
There were areas of the £100-A-Round resort course that were particularly untidy, there were many of the vast and numerous fairway bunkers that hadn`t been treated or prepared for what looked like weeks with wild weeds and reeds growing from the sand. The greens were fast, but nowhere near as true as the Portlethen surfaces. So I`d say enjoy what you have, and even if the grass is greener on the other side, it certainly isn`t better.
The Club are having some aerial flyovers of the Course done for the website. Click here to view the first 6 holes that might give some of you a look at the course as you`ve never seen it before.
