AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AHAHAHAHAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!

Oh man, I`ve not had a good laugh like that in a long time!

Happy New Year everyone! Don`t worry, I`m not going to recount any of the crass Cracker Jokes (Crass-mas Crackers!?) and in any case they weren`t responsible for my Belly Laughing! That honour fell to a man who`s Ego is clearly bigger than his belly (No not Santa Claus either!) I`m talking about Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor – The Darts Superstar, and 16 Time World Champion! A phenomenal achievement, and when added to 133 other Professional Tournament wins it really is an impressive Trophy haul.

But P’TP’T has clearly been slipping a little something stronger in his Ovaltine as he seems to think that he has (and I quote) “achieved more than Tiger Woods or Roger Federer tenfold!” – TENFOLD!? Accomplished 10 times as much as Tiger!?

That might be true Phil if Tiger`s career was based around a chipping competition from 10 Yards to the same targets in the same positions with the same under foot and overhead conditions in a head-to-head format! Or let`s put it another way, maybe the Tungsten Taylor`s record would be much more impressive if during tournaments the Organisers moved the Ochi a few feet further away from the board for different rounds!? Or occasionally tucked the Treble Twenty at the bottom edge of the board under the number 3!? Or played in the rain, on a slope into the wind!? Or, how about when the dart hits the wire and bounces onto the floor in front of the board the player has to throw his next one from down there!? Or if a Darts Leg was a Golf Hole then all 140 Players get a board each, they throw 18 Legs and then add up the amount of Darts to clear 501 eighteen times. Do that over the first 2 days then tell the worst 90 to go home unpaid, then do the same again for the next 2 days and the player that has thrown the least amount of darts to clear 501 seventy-two times is the winner!?

I seem to remember a Darts match was abandoned because the 2 players complained that there was a draft on stage!

And speaking of an unwanted waft of hot air I did get a good chuckle at the reaction of some of the Glasgow Rangers fans on social media following the recent Old Firm meeting with Celtic. You`d have thought they had just hammered the 1970 Brazil Team, thwarted a nuclear attack by North Korea and found the cure for Cancer the way they were waxing lyrical and boasting about their Teams performance! Guys, guys, guys…you only managed a goalless draw with a Team that is Internationally poor and domestically less-bad than the rest! If I were a fan I`d be more angry that if my Team can play like that why are they getting beaten by Kilmarnock, St Johnstone & Hamilton!? So celebrating a Nil-Nil draw to me is like celebrating being joint winner of ‘Spectacle Wearer Of The Year’ with Stevie Wonder!

Your eyesight was put to the test in our Christmas Comp. when during the Santa Scramble I laid on a Chocolate Treasure Hunt and a ‘Search For Santa’ – Any group who found him had to send in a ‘Santa Selfie’ with a Prize going to the best one.

Check out some of the entries:

The Santa Scramble was won by:

RESULTS
1st: Ryan & Imran Sheikh - 49.75 (£25 Each)
2nd: Bill Tait & Terry Taylor - 50 (£13 Each)
3rd: Ian Elmslie & Dave Fleming - 50.75 (£9 Each)

We also managed to squeeze in the Hogmanay Hack in between Course Closures.

That was won by:
1 John Simpson 43 Points
2 Denis Golder 41 Points ACB
3 John Ryrie 41 Points

It was quite fitting that in the last Competition of the Year some kind soul managed to squeeze a U.S. Quarter (25 Cent Coin) into their Sweep Money to keep up the recurring trend of ‘Con With Coin!’ – Hopefully some people have made their 2018 New Year Resolution to be ‘Less Crooked!’

Even scarier than people trying to use Foreign or Out of Date Currency is the fact that the 8th of January will mark the end of my 3rd year at the Club, so to ‘Celebrate’ 3 Years at Portlethen GC, and to stick with tradition, the theme of my 3rd Anniversary will be Leather!”

Or more importantly, putting more money back in your Leather Wallets & Purses thanks to my `Clearance Of Clearances`

CLEARING DOWN SALE – Everything Must Go!
Starts Sat 6th January – WHILE STOCKS LAST!

HUGE SAVINGS ON THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES:
- Clothing
- Ladies & Gents Shoes
- Bags
- Ladies & Gents Waterproofs
- Outerwear
- Gloves
- GPS
- Putters
- Wedges
- Clubs/Equipment
- Accessories
- Headwear

‘OUT with the Old and IN with the New!’ – So why not start this New Year with some New Gear – Everything Reduced To CLEAR!’

Here are a few examples:

- All Clothing HALF PRICE or LESS!
- Footoy Contour Shoes – ONLY £49! (That`s a £50 Saving!)
- Galvin Green Waterproof Suit – ONLY £220! (Yip, that`s Jacket & Trousers!)
- Waterproof Golf Bags – ONLY £99! (That`s a £100 Saving!)
- Waterproof & Outerwear Jackets – FROM ONLY £40! (Ladies & Gents)
- Club Crested Clothing – FROM ONLY £15! (Ladies & Gents)
- Club Crested Accessories – ALL HALF PRICE!
- Golfbuddy GPS – FROM ONLY £99!
- TaylorMade M1 Drivers – ONLY £229! (That`s a £200 Saving!)
- PING Putters – HALF PRICE! (That`s a £65 Saving!)

One key element of what they`ve discussed is ‘Strike Location’ and unfortunately it is an aspect of a Players Performance that many overlook and even more probably don`t know. Hitting the ball straighter and further is definitely about maximising your ‘Centeredness Of Strike’ – TaylorMade's new Face Technology is going to help but it`s still important to know what your own individual strike pattern is. So this is a reminder that here at Portlethen GC we have THE ONLY Fitting/Measuring Technology that will give you accurate Strike Location Data.

The GC Quadrascopic Camera is the only Launch Monitor System that tracks and charts Club, Ball & Strike Location Data meaning that all factors that influence where the ball goes and how it gets there are covered. Then you need someone skilled and educated in evaluating all that data to prescribe the best and simplest solution – That`s where my expertise come in.

So as we approach the new 2018 Golf Season and you are keen to improve & invest in your game do it correctly and come and speak to me about the new Products and best Fitting process.