Maybe I`ve got other things on my ‘To Do List?’ Maybe it`s because we`ve only had a couple moderate ground frosts? Maybe the fact that I haven`t set foot in a Shopping Centre for months? Or maybe I`m adopting the same mental strength, to block out the prospective pain, as used by Firewalkers? But this year I feel as Christmassy (...and to coin a phrase used by my Granny) as flea in the air!

Apparently it`s less than a fortnight away!? When did they decide that? Was it before or after they started playing Brexit Charades in Parliament!?

It didn`t dawn on me until now that Theresa May is actually related to Vanessa Mae…..well, I`m guessing she is as they are both clearly fantastic fiddlers!!! Perhaps many MP`s and the slight minority will get their Christmas early in the form of the Prime Minister stepping down. If that happens Mrs May has warned that would mean a New Prime Minister having to scrap or extend Article 50………well one of Theresa`s biggest Dementors, I MEAN dissenters is JK Rowling so I`m sure she could do a good job making it Article 50 & three quarters! After all she already knows the inner workings of a Chamber Of Secrets!!

Believe it or not Theresa May and I have something in common!...who said dance moves and dress sense!?

No, I can actually relate to ‘Minnie Maggie’ because this week I too stood in front of, and was grilled by, a room full of people! That assemble crew was in fact our Portlethen Ladies Section where I had been invited along to my last Ladies Christmas Dinner. As in previous years I had been asked to provide some sort of short entertainment. Being my last hurrah I decided to lay myself bare, figuratively that is, and opened myself up for a Q&A: ‘Ask Me Anything!’

There were no boundaries or ground rules, the ladies could ask me any personal or professional question they wanted! Now, I won`t bore you with all the questions but the first one out the bag sort of set the tone!

Q: “Are you a Leg or Breast man!?”

Clearly I missed the festive undertones of the question because apparently they meant…what bit of Christmas Turkey would I normally prefer!.....anyway, my answer was ‘A bit of both’ so it worked either way!

I was also asked:

Q: “What has been your most embarrassing moment at Portlethen!?”

Ironically, perhaps the most embarrassing thing is clearly how high my `Embarrassed Bar` is set because despite the various Social events that I`ve been spotted at attempting Riverdance, rhythmical interplay with Henrietta The Hoover, wearing the Captain`s Wife`s High Heels, performing the percussion section on the Scorecard Box and probably many more that have been caught on camera, there is nothing that I`ve been embarrassed about!!!

There was one question that I couldn`t give a definitive answer to on the night, but I promised I`d get back to the Ladies Section with the answer. So I thought this is the best platform to do it.

The question was:

Q: “Who are your ultimate Top 3 Women to date!?”

On the night I just couldn`t do it!.....think of my answers that is!! So having had time to reflect these are my Top 3 Women to date:

Click Here to view my picks.

If I was able to add a sneaky fourth in, there is one other lady I would particularly like to have dinner with and that is my mum! My mum passed away when I was 14 so I`ve never had the opportunity to spend any time with her as a grown man! I nearly said adult there but that might suggest I matured!! But to be fair that`s probably my quality that reminds me most of my mum because I remember always being able to make her laugh…..I`m sure I drove her round the bend too!!