Yes, our National Football Team were back in action last Friday and Monday in Euro Championship Qualifying against Russia and Belgium and it`s fair to say we did about as well in those games as Wile E. Coyote has done in his attempts to catch the Roadrunner! Our Tartan Army must be made of the same stuff as the cartoon canine because every time Scotland`s footballing finest drop an anvil on them, or serve them a dynamite dinner, they just dust themselves down, hitch their kilts back up and get back on it (That`s the metaphorical horse and the bevvy I`m talking about).

If only our defence was as resilient as the thousands of supporters that invest all that time, money and emotion to loyally follow our country's footballing dreams.

To be honest we showed on Monday that we were just as successful against Belgium as the UK Government has been in tackling the boys from Brussels! Although our export trade and strategy was clearly much stronger and better received because we shipped goals with the minimum of fuss! But let`s face it, the Belgians are stuffed full of more quality than a box of their chocolates whilst our squad is more like a ‘Pic & Mix’ from Woollies!

It was the capitulation to Russia that was the real kick in the Baltics! But what do you expect when we put our faith, to lead the line, in the most madey-up Scottish striker of all time – Oli McBurnie! With the physical appearance something akin to the Scottish Minotaur – Head of a Billy Connolly, body of Paul Sturrock – he certainly looks Scottish! There is absolutely no doubt after that performance he plays Scottish, but the reality is he doesn`t sound Scottish, because he wasn`t born Scottish, and has even been caught joking that he doesn`t want to turn up to be Scottish! If we are having to scrape that barrel for these players that have just got the most Scottish sounding names can we not just poach Mo Salah dye his hair and beard ginger and re-name him Jimmy McNeepheid?