As I sit here in the isolation of my office with only a screen to share my thoughts with, and the task of mustering up some wit (or at least half of it!), engagement and informazioni all I can hear is the Geordie Voiceover Man narrating in the background!
"DAY 238 (That's how long I`ve been here at Portlethen….at the moment of typing!) and Stew-it has comb to the die-ray room! (I`ve tried to type that phonetically in Geordie for you but you can do the voice yourself if you like!!)
Whilst it does seem like I`m stuck in the Big Brother House here at times I have to say that although you guys are a cosmopolitan yet equally crazy lot I`m thoroughly enjoying all my housemates immensely! I just pray that I`m not put up for eviction anytime soon!
I guess the jump start to this week`s ramble comes on the back of Celebrity Big Brother returning to our screens AGAIN! What`s that saying about flogging a dead horse!? (No, I don`t mean Janice Dickenson but I`ll come back to her!) Channel 5 have once again decided to play Russian Roulette with Ofcom, the TV Communication regulators. Not because there is any phone line fixing scandal YET, but more through the sheer cheek, and contravening the Trades Description Act, by trying to con the viewing public that this is in any way shape or form a show featuring Celebrities!! I heard that the Directors of the show had tabled a suggestion for a new Show Title - "I`m Not A Celebrity Yet, Get Me In There!" You know the show has scraped the bottom of the barrel so much that it`s now gone right through to the pavement (or possibly even the gutter) when the most `famous` person in there is Bobby Davro!!!
The phrase "..in any way shape or form" brings me nicely to the, ahem, celebrity housemates themselves! There is so much cosmetic surgery on show in the house it`s like a cross between Toy Story & the Blackpool Pier attempt at Madame Tussauds!! When they think no one is watching all the wax works come to life and start talking/bickering/arguing!! Janice Dickinson has had so many Facelifts that on the Big Brother Website her Profile genuinely has - `Age: Unknown`!! Still I`d say that after all her work she is definitely starting to look more like her brother David! But I bet it wasn`t `Cheap as Chips`, unfortunately it just looks like she`s been `Dookin for Chips!`
(In the words of Tommy Cooper) Fat Man Scoop obviously couldn`t afford the facelift……. so he lowered his body instead!! `Harrr, Harrr, uhuhuhuh!`
Then we had the UK`s trump card (or were they playing their Joker!?) when they put last year`s X Factor misfits, Stevi & Chloe, in as one person! They kept their entrance into the House on opening night classy and discreet…….by wearing top to toe Union Jack sequined suits!
I know I`ve tried to draw parallels between life here at Portlethen and the behaviour of the Big Brother House but we never get people turning up at the course dressed from top to toe in whacky patterns like that though!..........or do we!?
I know that Stuart won`t mind me using that photo because he is in every sense an Ace of Diamonds! But he wasn`t the only Ace to show up at Portlethen last week! Martyn Summers also played his Ace Card on the 5th Hole last Saturday during the Keith Tait Rd 2 where he Holed In One! It`s been about as good a Summers Week as we`ve had all Summer with the good news that Martyn`s dad, Ray, who has reached the North East District Handicap Champion of Champions Final. Ray will play Ian Pirie of Alford in the final at Royal Aberdeen on Sunday 6th September teeing off a 1.40pm. So if you`re in the area why not pop along and give him your support! All the very best Raymond from everyone at Portlethen Golf Club and hopefully you`ve got a few of Martyn`s Aces up your sleeve and there will be more Summer Celebrations
this weekend.
It`s been a week of celebrations and milestones for some of Portlethen`s Princesses! On Thursday our Ladies Section were off watching last year`s Ladies Captain, Sarah Beattie, tie the knot as she got married to her new hubby whilst back at the Club our diminutive dame of the drink, queen of the kegs and potential pocket powderkeg, Ann Bain celebrated the 20th Annie-versary of her time working her at Portlethen! She was presented with her a commemorative plaque that now takes pride of place on her personalised ashtray where she would `occasionally` be found on her break! Clearly adding no substance to the myth that smoking can stunt your growth! I`m just glad they didn`t put her middle name Gina on the plaque too as it might scare a few people away from having their sneaky puff!
On the Golfing front it was another case of Jason Day`s-Yahoo! Because hot on the heels of his USPGA victory the Aussie sensation was back in the winner`s circle quicker than a boomerang on a bungie-cord! This time it was at The Barclays Championship where a flawless 8 Under Par final round 62 saw him streak ahead of 3rd round leader Sang-Moon Bae, who himself sounds like an after dark nudist beach! I was interested to see the other day a video of Jason`s swing when he was a `lanky loon` but apart from size and speed his action hasn`t changed a great deal. Click here to check it out.
Whilst that was Jason Day notching his 2nd victory in the last three weeks back in Europe it was the Belgian, Thomas Pieters, who chocc`d up his first Tour Win at the D+D Czech Masters. The € 166,660 first prize was the biggest of his career and he couldn`t quite believe his eyes, so much so that he had to check and double check his Czech cheque! (But not as many times as I`ve just had to use my spell check to check the smelling ov Chech & Czeque!)
It wasn`t quite big prize money on Wednesday as there has been a noticeable drop off in the amount of people able to play in the midweek Wednesday Walk On Medal but Sean Lawrie did sign off his last week as an Amatuer by picking up some sweep money! As of next week Sean will be making the step up into the Pro and hopefully Paid Ranks as he starts out on his journey as a Professional Golfer. I`d like to take this opportunity, and on behalf of the Club, to wish Sean every success for the future. You never know, he might just follow in his Uncle Paul`s footsteps and get his hands on the famous Claret Jug as well!
Sean posted the joint lowest gross that day and under par is where he`ll need to live from now on to pay the bills!
WALK ON MEDAL Wednesday 26th August `15
Division 1 (10 & BELOW)
1st: Kieran Spence = 69(1) - 68
1st Sweep: Sean Lawrie = 69 (+1) - 70
3rd: Gary Lochhead = 69(+2) - 71
2nd Sweep: William Somers = 80 (8) - 72
4th: Kevin Daglish = 73(1) - 72
3rd Sweep: Gary Cruickshank = 81 (8) - 73
Division 2 (11-15)
1st: Gregory Wolverson = 82 (15) - 67
2nd: Derek Craigie = 80 (11) - 69
3rd: Paull McBain = 84 (14) - 70
Division 3 (16 & ABOVE)
1st: Andy Petrie = 85 (16) - 69
2nd: Graeme Westland = 94(24) - 70
2nd Sweep: John Paterson = 88 (18) - 70
3rd Sweep: Paul Smith = 91 (20) - 71
Photos -Kieran Spence,Sean Lawrie, Willie Somers, Kev Daglish
Willie Somers had a good week in the prizes as he followed up his 2nd Sweep on Wednesday with a 3rd Sweep on Saturday! So along with Martyn`s Hole In One and Ray`s charge to the Champions Final it`s been a great weeks of Summers/Somers! Jamie Ironside has clearly been buoyed by his Handicap Championship win as he topped Div 1, Grant Blackwood took the spoils in Div 2 and clearly Mark picked the right Clubb most of the time to top Div 3.
KEITH TAIT RD2 Saturday 29th August `15
Division 1 (10 & BELOW)
1st: Jamie Ironside = 74(5) - 69
2nd: Johnny Montgomerie = 75(8) - 70
3rd: Willie Somers = 79(8) - 71
Division 2 (11-15)
1st: Grant Blackwood = 80(11) - 69
2nd: David Donaldson = 82(12) - 70 ACB
3rd: Derek Goodall = 84(14) - 70
Division 3 (16 & ABOVE)
1st: Mark Clubb = 91(21) - 70
2nd: Jim Christie = 90(18) - 72 ACB
3rd: Ken Morrish = 99(27) - 72
Photos - Jamie Ironside, Johnny Montgomerie, Willie Somers, Grant Blackwood, Derek Goodall, Mark Clubb, Jim Christie
Sunday was again quite a small field but it produced the weeks lowest scoring. And like all the big tournaments the leaders went out last as both Greg Donaldson and Charlie Rennie were in the last game out of the day. I was especially pleased for Charlie who came to me earlier in the year struggling with his game and not really enjoying playing. Having seen a real difference in has play over the last few weeks he has now managed to piece together a score that has brought his handicap down by 3 strokes!! Perhaps the bunker lessons that both Charlie and Peter Griffiths had recently played a part in their good scores!!
WALK ON MEDAL Sunday 30TH AUGUST `15
Division 1 (10 & BELOW)
1st: Greg Donaldson = 73(8) - 65
2nd: Keith Allan = 73(6) - 67
2nd Sweep: Peter Griffiths = 78(9) - 69
Division 2 (11-15)
1st: Graham Penny = 80(12) - 68 ACB
2nd: Andrew Garioch = 83(15) - 68
Division 3 (16 & ABOVE)
1st: Charles Rennie = 90(26) - 64
2nd: Graham Miller = 83(16) - 67
3rd: Stan Moroney = 94(22) - 72
Photos - Greg Donaldson, Keith Allan, Peter Griffiths, Charlie Rennie, Graham Miller, Stan Moroney
This weekend it`s the September Medal which see`s 2 things come to a conclusion. The first is the Strokeplay Championship which will crown the best Scratch Player over 4 Rounds. Going into the 4th and final round it is tight at the top and looks like a 2 horse race between Lewis Shand and Graham Innes who are separated by only 1 shot!
There may also be a scramble at the top in my Cappro Cup as the race for the automatic places has also come down to the final event. Here is a look at those who all mathematically can make it!
Hopefully an image that will go down well at the Club is the one right!!
Yes, like it or lump it but the Golf Season is on the wind down and with that cross over into the Off Season I`m also preparing for my first transition from Golf Season to Off Season. That means only one thing, My "End Of Summer Clubhouse Clearance Sale"!!
On Saturday 4th September I will be having a One Day ONLY Clubhouse Clearance - Main Lounge - 10am Till 4pm.
There will be HUGE Reductions on the following.
SALE Clothing
SALE Shoes
All Bags
All Luggage
Selected Waterproofs
Selected Woods & Wedges
There will also be a "Make Me An Offer" Rail PLUS All Full Payment Purchases over £50 will qualify for "Dook For Discount" Promotion!
Simply bring your Items to the desk, take a lucky dip at my Floating Discount Containers and you`ll receive an extra discount of whatever is inside!
The clearance is to allow me to make room for the new range of Autumn/Winter Products coming in and dare I say it, the run up to Christmas!
"All the Golfing Gossip from the Powder Room" by Aileen McVey The Pro Shops 1st Lady
Well after 2 tough days, aching legs and various other sore bits I managed to complete the 174 mile Ride The North Cycle Challenge - Inverness to Stonehaven. Whilst it was nothing short of saddle sadism, and if I never see a bike again it`ll be too soon I can now reflect back on my journey from my training to the event itself and say that I have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge and I`m also proud at myself for my application! I just hope now I can be as disciplined at sticking to my healthy eating plan now that I don`t have the calorie burning bike to make up for it!!
In total I raised £1300 on behalf of the Sandpiper Trust which I am delighted about. Your support has been overwhelming so a huge thank you to everyone who sponsored me. I will be collecting my sponsor money now so anyone who has still to pay can pop it into the Pro Shop.
Sarah wasn`t the only Lady getting paired off with a new partner this week!! On Sunday 10 couples played in the Thomson Trophy Mixed Competition with most of the entrants playing with someone they hadn`t met or played with before. And it was 2 of the `newbie` couples who did the best.
Sylvia Revell & Gary Thomson were Runners-Up on 75 but it was the deadly duo of Elaine Stoddart & Ray Cowan who were run away winners with an impressive 70. I think Elaine`s query of "Are you a straight 6 or a squint 6!?" struck a cord with Ray when asked about his handicap/ability and he focussed on putting Elaine on the fairway as much as possible! Perhaps that and the fact that Elaine`s Hubby, Tom, was playing in the same group so was keeping an eye on his performance too!!
Photos - Silvia & Gary, Elaine & Ray
Well I guess officially we are in Autumn now although I thought we were just getting to the end of Spring! The wet, erm…."Summer" has certainly ensured the course is lush and, as a consequence, playing longer! This I would assume means many golfers are having to hit longer shots to get to the hole and potentially taking bigger divots! However on Sunday we discovered something that is basically inexcusable! Someone playing on Sunday morning has taken an almighty swipe and removed a divot about 18 inches from the hole position that day. If anyone who teed off that morning between 7 & 11.30 can help us identify exactly when, or more importantly who made it then please let either Dino or myself know.
Unfortunately there are more devious divots to discuss! Perhaps not quite as serious but still a little disappointing. This Season Neil and the Team have put a lot of time into the Shortgame Area. Remodelling the bunkers, and more recently bring the green surfaces up to a better standard, so it was quite disappointing to see that someone has felt the need to practice their longer pitching from the fringe of the green only a matter of inches from the green surface. One can only assume that it was so the player could hit a length of pitch to the back green that they couldn`t hit from the fairway side of the green!? If you are requiring to practice a pitch shot that is 50 yards or more we encourage you to practice that shot up on the main area to the Green target that is still there and perfectly suitable for that type of shot.
Last week it was back down south again for a 36 Hole Challenge at Dundonald Links. That was the first time I had played the course and I would say it's up there as one of my favourites. Even though I loved the course, it wasn't so nice to me, especially the back 9! I played pretty well in round 1 but two double bogeys back to back on 15 & 16 knocked me down. Although after finding out that one of my friends had a 9 on 15, I Felt a little better! A birdie on the last meant I finished +3(75) after R1.
The 2nd Round again I thought played better than I had scored. I had learnt from my mistakes and made par on 15 & 16 but the cursed double got me on the last hole this time! That meant I finished with +6 (78) which was right in the middle of the leaderboard.
My Junior Development group was back on this week and the 3 kids that had turned up were showing great improvements. That was the last week of this series but I will be organising something similar in the near future. The usual "Get Golfing" Gang was on this week. The numbers were also low for this week but the good news was that a few of them were ready to brace the full 18 holes and play for their handicap!
Junior Competition Results:
The strong winds definitely had an impact on the scores in the Saturday competitions. And it was Brandon Simpson who managed to win the Morrison Construction Cup with a solid 38 Points. Followed by one of My Junior development students Pranav Maganti with a respectable 35 points.
One player who did manage to beat the wind or at least use it to their advantage was young Cameron Ferguson who was not playing in the competition but trying to lower his handicap to 28 which he almost manage in one round! He scored a nett 59 which took his handicap from 38 down to 30!
Saturday - Junior Morrison Construction Cup. Par 72 CSS 72
Brandon Simpson - 37 points,
Pranav Maganti - 34 points
Murray Sinclair - 32 Points
Aidan Fulton - 30 points
Lewis Sinclair - 28 Points
Finlay Wallace - 28 Points
Daniel Critchard - 27 Points
Ritchie Smart - 26 Points
It was a good weekend for Brandon as he also received his award from HowDidIDo for his achievements throughout April where he was given the title Player of The Month.
At the time of reading our Seniors Section will be buzzing south on the golfing equivalent of a Saga Tour as we head for Glenisla near Alyth.On Tuesday though there were some of the Seniors on their travels again, this time to Ellon for the CADS. It was a case of same old story I`m afraid as we had to rely on Bill Bothwell to bring home any scraps of bacon! He managed to pick up 3 points for Portlethen and thankfully Neil Anderson also helped out with 2 points. Next week we are off to Huntly for what will be the last CADS as this was re-scheduled from earlier in the year.
Back at Portlethen we had a SGU Qualifying Stableford which saw George Innes take the spoils.
SENIORS MONTHLY MEDAL, Thursday 27th August`15
Division 1(All)
1st: George Innes = 41 Points,
2nd: Peter Somerville = 40 Points ACB,
3rd: Robert Duncan = 40 Points
Photos -Bill Bothwell, Peter Somerville, Robert Duncan
Just a reminder to everyone who took out the "Game Changer Package" as part of my promotion to find the GAME IMPROVEMENT CHAMPION. These Lessons need to be used by the end of September so perhaps get any outstanding Sessions booked in soon before time runs out.
