From Blofeld and Spectre, he's beaten them all, he even beat Goldfinger with the little white ball. (Slazenger 1!!) He's taken down all comers with his gadgets from Q, but you'll not find his results on HowDidIDo!! He's double O seven with a License To Kill, but it won't be much longer before he'll feature in "DEAR PHIL"!
Bond, James Bond! That is his name, and in his new film he's still got good aim! But I'm afraid here at Portlethen, it don't matter your fame, you've gotta be quick on the trigger when booking a game!!
Yes, the big news this week was Bond is back! I was going giddy at the thought of seeing the new Spectre movie which aired on Monday! I'm not saying I am a Geek but I think I pulled a few funny looks when I arrived at the Cinema in my Tuxedo!.....The White one!! Not ideal when you splodge Ketchup from your Hotdog all down the front! I'll need to get it cleaned on Her Majesty's Dry Clean Service!
But I was thinking, maybe we should appoint the 007 as a Course Ranger to infiltrate the Evil organisation who are secretly trying to inflict the Global downfall of golf with their physiological warfare manifesting itself as "Slow Play!", if you're not keeping pace with the group in front then Bond has the authority to shoot you! I'm sure that's incentive enough to get you in some kind of Form, Russian With Glove!
(OK, so now I'm going to attempt to get as many Golf related Bond Films in to pad this otherwise sparse edition out!)
Like the iconic series itself it has to start with Dr Nr (more a written joke than a verbal one! Nr No might have also worked!?), You might need a 'Provisionball' after a 'Lift and Left Drive', but a shot to the left makes a change from the drives that are 'Oftenpushy'. But what if you suffer from the odd 'Skyball'? You Can get tape to put on the top of the club 'For Your Skies Only' just in case you 'Sky Another Day' but in theory you should be better the next day because apparently 'Tomorrow Never Skies!' You actually get more distance if they're more 'SoledThanSky' and if you're accurate enough you might fluke a 'Quality SoledAce' I did have a jammy hole out once when I roofed a Hybrid straight into the hole for an albatross at a Par 5, that was definitely 'The Sky Who Loved Me!' Watch out for those bunkers though unless you quite like being a 'Sandraker'? The Bunkers are sometimes better than going off the fairway as a pleasant 'World Is Not TheRough'. And I suppose the ultimate objective in golf is to 'TryAndNever Cry ForeEver!' But this is sometimes inevitable when 'You Only Give Slice'
Ok, I think I've exhausted the possibilities and purposely disregarded 'The Living Daylights' and 'License To Kill' because they and Timothy Dalton were dreadful! And 'Casino Royale' and 'View To A Kill' escaped Pun-ishment! So whilst Bond left a trail of destruction, this weekend will see whether New Zealand can inflict Australia's destruction in the Rugby World Cup Final. Ultimately these are the best 2 International Rugby Union sides on the planet and proves that if you're good enough you can play anywhere, in any climate and prevail.
The same can perhaps be said of Justin Rose who also showed what a consistently World Class player he has become these days when he prevailed in that wonderfully European destination on the European Tour, Hong Kong!!
The Tour now enters its equivalent of the Fed Ex Series with the final four events boosting huge pride funds, incentives and bonuses in an attempt to establish the Top 60 Players in the Race to Dubai to play in the Tour Ending finale. Rory McIlroy is the man in the hot set but has the likes of Justin Rose hit form at the best time?
Something else that had to roll on to next week was the First round of matches in the a Winter 4's Leagues. As many of you will know the course had to close this weekend due to flooding. This was caused when over 1" of rain fell in under 2 hours on Saturday morning! These Ties will now be played this Saturday instead.
Winter League weekend coincided with the Clock Change and with the shroud of darkness falling not long after 4pm now we are definitely in Winter. That's allowed me to go 'Off The Grid' for a few days and have my first break since I started in January. Officially I'm not going anywhere specific but if news of the Leader of ISIS being assassinated or the unexplained destruction of a Foreign Embassy in Mogadishu then I cannot confirm or deny my whereabouts! DANAN DUN, DANAN DUN, Doom Ba, Doom Ba, Doom Ba, Doom Ba....(you'll need to do your own big brass section now!!)
Ok, so I've just admitted I don't have a Brass section but as Christmas fast approaches I have virtually every other section! Or you might call them a Selection too!
We've got everything and anything a golfer needs!
We've got a:
WINTER CLOTHING SECTION
WATERPROOF SECTION
BAG SECTION
SHOE SECTION
WOOD SECTION
WEDGE SECTION
PUTTER SECTION
TROLLEY SECTION
GPS SECTION
PORTLETHEN SECTION
BALL SECTION
A new arrival in our Ball Section is from Callaway who are doing some fabulous Double Dozen Deals on 2 of their best and most popular balls. In the run up to Christmas you can get:
2 Dozen Chrome Soft FOR ONLY £49.99 + A FREE Cap! (Full RRP = £75)
2 Dozen Supersoft FOR ONLY £29.99! (Full RRP = £49.99)
Titliest are also once again running their extremely popular Ball Personalisation Promotion, so why not 'Make It Personal' and get them their favourite ball with a poignant message on them! It might just be a Returns Address or Postcode!!
I'd even say we have an extensive Gift Section and plenty Stocking Fillers as well. And don't forget we do Gift Vouchers and Lesson Vouchers too!
But maybe it's not about waiting until Christmas for you to get that spark in your golf game? Many of you play (weather permitting) throughout the Winter Months. So why not make sure you are prepared for conditions now, and are getting prepared for next season!
WINTER PREP PACKAGE
Freshen up your Tired & Worn Grips FOR FREE! (Buy 7 Specified Grips for ONLY £20 NOW and receive a Voucher for £20 OFF your Spring Re-Grips* New Lamkin Grips must be fitted by end of May!)
Winter Metal Spikes Fitted FOR ONLY £7!
FREE Handwarmers With Every Pair of Mitts
WINTER PERFORMANCE PACKAGE
Distance Gapping Session & Equipment Analysis - £25
4 Session Development Program - £100*
4 X 30 Minute Lesson (Includes Video Analysis & Launch Monitor Feedback)
*Package will run 1st Nov - 31st March.
Winter Warmer Session (Up to 4 People - 1Hour) - £15 Per Person*
Game&Club Assessment with Coffee and Company. A relaxed way for you and friends to keep swinging throughout the Winter. *4 For 3 if 4 People commit to 4 Weeks!
As I mentioned last week, the studying season has started for me and with the October holidays over the kids are back to learning ways too.
With my 3rd year residential coming up in a couple of weeks I've been getting prepared for my Practical Workshop Exam - To remove a graphite shaft, cut to length and install into another head. With the course being quiet recently I took time to learn from Stuart which has been very helpful.
As for the golf I played in the alliance at Banchory on which felt like the warmest day all year! Unfortunately the scoring wasn't great from me mainly due to the putter having an off day! This week is Montrose which I'm looking forward to as it's always in good condition!
There was one piece of Competition News that Stuart could bring you. As was mentioned last week the Seniors and the Ladies joined forces for an end of Season Mixed Texas Scramble. It was a lot of fun and thanks to all the Ladies & Seniors who took part.
I'll sheepishly say it was myself that won, but the credit really has to go to my Team of Sandy Barrack & Judith Mills for their great play!
SENIORS & LADIES MIXED SCRAMBLE
1st: Phil Dear / Judith Mills / Sandy Barrack - 67(8.5) = 58.5
2nd: Bob Stark / Barbara Tait / Scott Joss - 71(10.5) = 60.5
3rd: Ian Anderson / Barbara Watt / Bob Ewen - 72(10.8) = 61.2
Work is well underway on remodelling of the 15th Approach and the heavy artillery has moved in. The contractor and his huge earth moving digger has been onsite since Monday. As a safety measure play on this hole will be to the Winter Green for the foreseeable future.
Now while the big digger has been brought in to gouge large sections of earth out of the course we really don't need any help from the golfers! So it was particularly disappointing to see this obscene divot whacked out of the 10th Green at some point last Friday! If you see anyone creating this kind of on course damage can you report it immediately!
No juicy gossip this week I'm afraid!